Aziz Ansari Quotes

When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with, one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing. - Aziz Ansari

Nela; can you come and disinfect this please. I don't want our customers complaining that our fruit tastes like New Zealanders. - Aziz Ansari

My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. Theres candles in the car. You goIs that dangerous? and I go, Yes...but I like danger. We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my cars on fire. You go, Aziz, your cars on fire. Arent you upset? I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, No. I knew this was gonna happen. And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car. - Aziz Ansari

Like with Parks and Recreation, it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had. - Aziz Ansari

Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world. - Aziz Ansari

It's all dangerously true. It'd be nice if something worked out for me, and then I'd have to get material out of that. - Aziz Ansari

I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. - Aziz Ansari

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration. - Aziz Ansari

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