Family Guy Quotes

You know, I rather like this God fellow. Hes very theatrical. A little pestilence here, a plague there... Omnipotence...got to get me some of that. -Stewie Griffin. - Family Guy

When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Hah hah hah...ow. Oh, now I dont know math. -Chris Griffin. - Family Guy

Tonight theres a new reality show on Fox: Fast Animals, Slow Children. -Peter Griffin. - Family Guy

Theres always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and its not so much that I want to kill her, its just, I want her not to be alive anymore. -Stewie Griffin. - Family Guy

Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first. -Peter Griffin. - Family Guy

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire: I Like where this is goin! - Family Guy

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead. Brian: Is it just me or is rap getting lazier? - Family Guy

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, theres a message in my Alphabits. It says, Oooooo. Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. -Family Guy. - Family Guy

Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie about something like that. Peter: All right, all right, Ill kill your mother. - Family Guy

Page 1 of 3

Next -> Last ->>