Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments...except one. And that is, who is the biggest? I'll let you know right now, there's only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster...whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one. - Gabriel Iglesias

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time. - Gabriel Iglesias

Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are necessary for a life. And they stuck them in one aisle and they put them in order according to how you mess up...First... - Gabriel Iglesias

The cop gets to the window and says the same thing that they all say, right, 'Do you know why I stopped you?' It was too easy. I looked at him and I said, 'Cause you can smell it."' - Gabriel Iglesias

That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home. - Gabriel Iglesias

Thank u to everyone who just sent me a msg. :) glad I could make u laugh. - Gabriel Iglesias

LAKERS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! - Gabriel Iglesias

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