Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if theres any justice, the minute theyre done building it, God will introduce a newer, smaller sun thats not compatible with their machinery. - Jimmy Fallon

A new study found that a mothers diet affects her babys allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats. - Jimmy Fallon

A man in Arizona was arrested for stuffing snakes down his pants at a pet store. The good news is when he got to prison ten guys offered to stuff more snakes down his pants. - Jimmy Fallon

A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting for your kids to get custody of you. - Jimmy Fallon

[Worst of all, the team appeared in] The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training... Let them play! Let them play! - Jimmy Fallon

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