Erma Bombeck Quotes

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

- Erma Bombeck

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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. - Erma Bombeck

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. - Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. - Erma Bombeck