Mitch Hedberg Quotes

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

- Mitch Hedberg

Tags

Pepperidge | Farm | Bread | Stuff | Fancy |

comments powered by Disqus

Random

Swiss Cheese is a rip-off! It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss! - Mitch Hedberg

Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered. - Mitch Hedberg

Sometimes I make some money doin' comedy. I made $3000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash, so I had $3000 in my front pocket. That was a bad situation, because then I start to buy ridulous sh**. Like, I bought a snake-bite emergency repair kit. Then I said to my friends, 'Don't even worry about snakes anymore.' Then my friend stepped on a worm, I said, 'Lay down.' Snake bite emergency repair kit... is a body bag. - Mitch Hedberg