Ambrose Bierce Quotes
ZEUS, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog. Some explorers who have touched upon the shores of America, and one who professes to have penetrated a considerable distance to the interior, have thought that these four names stand for as many distinct deities, but in his monumental work on Surviving Faiths, Frumpp insists that the natives are monotheists, each having no other god than himself, whom he worships under many sacred names. 
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BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head.
- Ambrose Bierce
