Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.

- Mitch Hedberg

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Swiss Cheese is a rip-off! It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss! - Mitch Hedberg

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up. - Mitch Hedberg

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg