Home
Contact
Login
Register
Authors
Submit Quotes
Picture Quotes
Topics:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Jack Handey Quotes
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.
-
Jack Handey
Tweet
Tags
Love
|
|
Good
|
Idea
|
Chewing
|
Please enable JavaScript to view the
comments powered by Disqus.
comments powered by
Disqus
Random
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
-
Jack Handey
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.
-
Jack Handey
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
-
Jack Handey
Pages
Authors
Topics
Picture Quotes
Contact
Login
Register
Privacy Policy
Terms Of Use
Random Authors
Buzz Hargrove
Debbie Andrews
Buddy Davidson
Elgrace Wilborn
Gary Hull
Daryll Hill
Kevin Hallinan
Allison Spence
Julie Smith
Haruka
Mike Hansen
Cindy Fisher
Jim Masek
Brenda Becker
Ed Baker
Katsuya Okada
Chad Bankston
Renee Miller
Shaquille O'Neal
Lloyd McClendon
Jonathan Johnson
LaVonda Wagner
Michael Welch
Toni Varacchi
Shawshank Redemption