Emo Philips Quotes

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.

- Emo Philips

Tags

Funny | | Wonderful | City | Library |

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. - Emo Philips

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. - Emo Philips

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. - Emo Philips