Tim Vine Quotes

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

- Tim Vine

Tags

Instructor | Teach | Splits | Flexible |

comments powered by Disqus

Random

I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues. - Tim Vine

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke. - Tim Vine

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down. - Tim Vine