Dangerfield Quotes

They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another. - Rodney Dangerfield

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. - Rodney Dangerfield

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Now I look like Rodney Dangerfield. He wasn't too bad looking when he was younger. - Bill Peterson

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. - Rodney Dangerfield