Christmas Humor Quotes

Your mama so fat, I took a picture with her last christmas and it's still printing. - Unknown

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. - Bob Phillips

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson

The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your present. - Eddy Sims

That awkward moment when Santa has the same wrapping paper as your mom. - Unknown

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish. - Benny Hill

On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee! - Unknown

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. - Unknown

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or to the atheists, 'Look out for the wall!' - Unknown