Humorous Christmas Quotes

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. - Bob Phillips

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. - Unknown

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or to the atheists, 'Look out for the wall!' - Unknown

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays. - Henry Youngman

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first, your money or your feet. - Unknown

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. - W C Fields

4 stages of life: 1)You believe in Santa Claus 2)You don't believe in Santa Claus 3)You are Santa Claus 4)You look like Santa Claus. - Unknown