Henny Youngman Quotes

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. - Henny Youngman

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time? - Henny Youngman

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. - Henny Youngman

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! - Henny Youngman

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman

This man dresses like an unmade bed. - Henny Youngman

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number. - Henny Youngman

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out. - Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman

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