Jimmy Kimmel Quotes

The TSA downgraded the threat level for flights between the U.S. and England from severe to high. So if you're nervous about taking a trip to London, there's no longer a severe chance of exploding, just a high one now. - Jimmy Kimmel

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it. - Jimmy Kimmel

The president jumped on a plane to start a five-week vacation. This will be the longest presidential vacation in 36 years. This means President Bush has now been on vacation for 27% of his presidency. That means the country could be 27% more screwed up than it already is. - Jimmy Kimmel

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. - Jimmy Kimmel

See Andy... one day you're going to be right here, between Ernest Torrance and Olive Borden. - Jimmy Kimmel

Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion. - Jimmy Kimmel

People's lives are boring. - Jimmy Kimmel

On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime. - Jimmy Kimmel

Oh, great... Three people beating me up. Maybe it isn't such a great idea. - Jimmy Kimmel

No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do. - Jimmy Kimmel

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