Jimmy Kimmel Quotes

You would get your a*s kicked... I would have to take off my shoe and beat you down, brother! - Jimmy Kimmel

You don't need to exorcise your personal demons onstage. - Jimmy Kimmel

You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. - Jimmy Kimmel

When you know someone you can make a little more fun of them without them getting offended. - Jimmy Kimmel

When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember until you're on the radio again, sometimes in your old radio station and sitting with the guys you used to work with and you go, 'Oh yeah, I can't say these things anymore. I'm handcuffed.' - Jimmy Kimmel

When I was emceeing Win Ben Stein's Money, I actually fell asleep during the show a few times. I would sit on the safe over to the side and just sort of doze off. But that was probably a combination of the narcolepsy and Ben's voice. - Jimmy Kimmel

What would be cool is if you avenged a rapper. - Jimmy Kimmel

What I said about Pistons fans during halftime was a joke, nothing more. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. Clearly, over the past 10 years, we in L.A. have taken a commanding lead in post-game riots. If the Lakers win, I plan to overturn my own car. - Jimmy Kimmel

What did you make last year - $350? - Jimmy Kimmel

There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives. - Jimmy Kimmel

Page 1 of 6

Next -> Last ->>