S. J. Perelman Quotes

Under a forehead roughly comparable to that of Javanese and Piltdown man are visible a pair of tiny pig eyes, lit up alternately by greed and concupiscence. - S. J. Perelman

Their the waiters' eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - p%tZ, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes. - S. J. Perelman

The main obligation is to amuse yourself. - S. J. Perelman

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. . . . You are what you are. - S. J. Perelman

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. - S. J. Perelman

I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again. - S. J. Perelman

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. - S. J. Perelman

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it. - S. J. Perelman

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck. - S. J. Perelman

Crazy like a fox. - S. J. Perelman

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