W C Fields Quotes

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey. - W C Fields

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - W C Fields

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days. - W C Fields

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. - W C Fields

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight. - W C Fields

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