Dennis Miller Quotes

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

- Dennis Miller

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Average | Planner | Holes | Dart | Board |

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I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life. - Dennis Miller

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years. - Dennis Miller

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on. - Dennis Miller