Jack Handy Quotes

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

- Jack Handy

Tags

Skull | Woods | Call | Police | Curious |

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I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it. - Jack Handy

Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. - Jack Handy

If you lose your job, your marriage and your mind all in one week, try to lose your mind first, because then the other stuff won't matter that much. - Jack Handy