David Maxfield Quotes
When you see another person getting upset or angry, it's because they feel unsafe. You do the same. When you're in that sort of situation you should think through: What can I do to increase the safety in that situation? With enough safety, you can talk about anything. 
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Person | Upset | Angry | Feel | Unsafe |
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The military say always salute the flag before you disagree with your commanding officer. If you can demonstrate that you share purpose and mutual respect, then your boss won't feel that you are attacking them. Show your boss that you disagree in a way that will help them. Make it very clear up front that you're not attacking. You have a disagreement you want to share with them, but the disagreement will help them, not hurt them.
- David Maxfield
When people get defensive they're not getting defensive about the content of what you're saying. They get defensive because of what they think your intent is. When someone isn't responding to what you're saying, the tendency is to back off, water down the message. What you should do is step back and clarify your intent then get back to the message.
- David Maxfield