Emo Philips Quotes

You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!

- Emo Philips

Tags

Parties | People | Kennedy | Shot | Alibi |

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When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas. - Emo Philips

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. - Emo Philips

I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult. - Emo Philips