Emo Philips Quotes

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

- Emo Philips

Tags

Taught | Smile | Helps | Visit | Disaster |

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The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks. - Emo Philips

People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi. - Emo Philips

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, I'm going to mop the floor with your face. I said, You'll be sorry. He said, Oh, yeah? Why? I said, Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well. - Emo Philips