Emo Philips Quotes

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

- Emo Philips

Tags

Stool | Singles | Bars | Hoping | Lucky |

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England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'. - Emo Philips

I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson. - Emo Philips

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, I'm going to mop the floor with your face. I said, You'll be sorry. He said, Oh, yeah? Why? I said, Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well. - Emo Philips