Mitch Hedberg Quotes
I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying... 
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Played | Golf | Hole | Satisfying |
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You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
- Mitch Hedberg
I get the Reese's candy bar, If you read it, there's an apostrophe. The candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time your eating a Reese's and some guy named Reese comes up to you and says let me have that. You better give it to him. I'm sorry Reece, I didn't think I would ever run into you.
- Mitch Hedberg