Jack Handy Quotes

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

- Jack Handy

Tags

Opera | | Nude | High | Notes |

comments powered by Disqus

Random

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy - something like that. - Jack Handy

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire. - Jack Handy

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks. - Jack Handy