Witty Facebook Status Quotes

Your face is not a coloring book. Chill with the makeup! - Unknown

You were beautiful until your Photoshop 30-day trial expired... - Unknown

You want to see a perfect relationship? Watch a movie. - Unknown

You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status. - Unknown

You can't be late until you show up. - Unknown

Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals. - Unknown

Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway? - Unknown

Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. - Unknown

Who decided that paper beats rock? Have someone hold up a sheet of paper in front of their face, then throw a rock at it. Who wins? - Unknown