Daniel Tosh Quotes

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum. - Daniel Tosh

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? - Daniel Tosh

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin. - Daniel Tosh

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying. - Daniel Tosh

Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit. - Daniel Tosh

Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet. - Daniel Tosh

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it. - Daniel Tosh

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Daniel Tosh

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? - Daniel Tosh

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