Family Guy Quotes

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my diaper, and its not a toaster. -Stewie Griffin. - Family Guy

Hey, Meg, you eighteen yet? -Glen Quagmire. - Family Guy

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate. - Family Guy

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please save our dog. -Peter Griffin. - Family Guy

Dear diary: Jackpot. -Glen Quagmire. - Family Guy

Counselor: Id like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that I can observe your uncensored behavior. Peter: Wow, just like that show Big Brother...except somebodyll be watching. -Family Guy. - Family Guy

Chris: Hey, little dude, you want some ice cream? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall KILL you... - Family Guy

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE HELL UP? - Family Guy

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are. Since youre half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I cant even measure. -Peter Griffin. - Family Guy

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you die. -Peter Griffin. - Family Guy

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