Fred Willard Quotes

You think you want to be famous. Then you see twenty or thirty people with cameras running after somebody coming out of a restaurant. And you say, That might be fun for a night. The idea is to be just famous enough that when you walk into a restaurant, the maitred' says, Oh, I have a nice table. - Fred Willard

When you get to a certain age, it's kind of the same thing. There's no new school to go to, no new teachers. There's some comfort in that. - Fred Willard

When I was a kid, I remember one aunt drinking on Thanksgiving and falling asleep at the dinner table. Her husband said, Betty, wake up and finish your drink. - Fred Willard

When I was a kid, hearing something from the president was like hearing something from God. Now I hear the president and think, What is he, crazy? - Fred Willard

What makes a successful marriage? Well, I've been married about forty years now. My wife and I went back to Hawaii in 2001 to renew our vows. It was a hippie thing. We found a woman-Reverend Jackie. Picked a spot out by the ocean where a guy was playing guitar. I think he was the best man or something. - Fred Willard

This Is Spinal Tap. - Fred Willard

There was ABC, CBS, and NBC when I was a kid. That was it. How difficult it must've been to be successful back then. Now I look up and notice I'm watching Channel 504. Everyone is a star of some show. - Fred Willard

The remote has saved my sanity. - Fred Willard

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

Someone I've always admired is Catherine O'Hara... I think she's one of the best actresses in the country, not only comedy. I just think she's just a step aside from everybody, she's just wonderful. - Fred Willard

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