Emo Philips Quotes

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

- Emo Philips

Tags

Funny | Jokes | | Pray | Night |

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I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi! - Emo Philips

When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas. - Emo Philips