Emo Philips Quotes

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

- Emo Philips

Tags

Women | Live | Dress | Skimpy |

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People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi. - Emo Philips

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. - Emo Philips

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites. - Emo Philips