Carlin Quotes

You've got to make the shots, and we had some breakdowns on defense. We can compete with good teams, but we have to find ways to finish games. We're getting better in practice, but it's got to start carrying over into the games. - Jay Carlin

You look around and you see that George Carlin and Willie Nelson are doing as well as ever. ... You can grow old and still be vital. - Lily Tomlin

You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic. - George Carlin

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. - George Carlin

You get to play with people's little danger zones. - George Carlin

You can't really find somebody that has been so prolific, so 'on the scene,' so popular and cutting-edge as Carlin... He is the Rolling Stones of stand-up. - Richard Lewis

Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces rather than one-liners, so since writing books, the process hasn't changed much. A piece in my live routine can end up as part of one of my HBO specials, and it can also end up in one of the books. - George Carlin

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian. - George Carlin

With the legs that extend on it, he has an 18-foot reach, and it also can go six-feet down, so we started skimming the water, skimming the ground, then eventually we're down to four to five feet. - Jim Carlin