Median Quotes

You work with stand-up comedians or you work with somebody in theater, you work with somebody from 'Star Search' or 'Survivor' or a kid, it constantly changes how you play with people. - Steve Zahn

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians. - Stephen Colbert

You say you're a comedian, you always have to be on guard. - Anthony Anderson

You have to pay people capable of running a billion-dollar corporation. The salaries and bonuses that we pay are the range and median of the (executive) market. They are not out of line. - Mike Burns

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing. So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah. - Tracy Morgan

You don't know what you're going to get from Ricky. You don't know if it's going to be a quiet day or a loud day. A fun day? A comedian? You don't know which Ricky you're going to get in the course of the day. - Marvin McCullough

You could tell he was just way too drunk! By the time the light turned green he hits the gas and he spins out and he takes out a sign and he comes all the way back across the median on to the other side of the road. - Jack Kemp

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. - John Krasinski

You can't call Ronnie Barker a comedian - he was an actor and a great writer. - Bruce Forsyth

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian. - George Carlin